Monday, May 9, 2011

i wanna fly just like a rocket

everyone made it but me. that is what seems to be reaccuring lately. so a few days ago i tryed out for acapella. my audition wasnt that good, but i still thought i would make it in. today, after a horrible, sleepless, crying for hours night (so much drama. seriously.) i go to school, mentally, physically and emotionally exausted, only to discover that i didnt make acapella. the one thing that i desperatly wanted to get into, and i didnt make it. and not to brag, but i know i am a good singer. i have been in three talent shows, and had a million and a half solos. my solo ensamble piece made it to regionals. i write music, and i know i can sing. so why didnt i make it? why did every single one of my friends make it but me? i know you must be thinking "mmkay haley. could you just be quiet? your life isnt hard. you have food and a house and good grades. you shouldnt be upset" but heres the thing. singing has always been what i am good at. its the one thing that makes me stand out. lets face it. im not very good at sports, i dont take extrememly hard classes. im not abnormally pretty, and i dont have a radiant ball of sunshine personality. im not the girl who cares about being everyone's friend. im not good at art, and i cant play an instrument. the only talent that i really had was singing. now it seems like thats gone too. plus, its just so embarassing. people expected me to make acapella. it seemed like a no brainer. so why? ive been asking myself this all day. what could God possibly have in store for me that includes crushing my only talent? i dont know. this was the only thing that i really truely, wanted, and i put my whole heart and soul into it. now i dont know if i will be able to try out for the talent show. i just. dont. know. so, as i am sitting here eating blue cheese, im contimplating why things happen the way they do. why did i have to lose my best friend at the beginning of high school? to make me learn how to stand on my own. why did i have to stand alone? to pull me closer to God. it seems like there is an answer for every trial that i have ever been through, but i cant find an answer for this.
the only good part of my day was watching rio. the best songs:
yeah... kay bye

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