SEVEN MONTHS

GOOD MORNING WORLD

Hello my beautiful internet friends!

Im coming at you from my brand new APARTMENT

SO. its been over 7 months since I posted last

my life is sooo much different

and my blog was always in the back of my mind, but i didnt have the courage or drive or something to tell what was happening to me back then 

but now i do!

Care to take a journey with me?

so, whats on everyone's mind??

i know.... my boyfriend

so when I last posted, things were ..... alright, i suppose

If you have been reading my facebook or my insta you would have noticed that pictures of him stopped coming

we broke up in november

I wanted to focus on school, and i wanted him to focus on a mission, which didnt exactly happen

Beside the point though. 

we tried to be friends, which for the record NEVER EVER WORKS

he wanted things i didnt want, and it was to difficult to maintain

Ill probably always have regrets about how things ended, but I think it was for the best. 

He'll always have a sweet place in my life story, but we weren't meant to be, sadly.

So there I was
I felt like I was really JUST starting college, only a semester behind

It was an amazing feeling, being free

So I did what any  recently broken up person would do

I DATED

heres the really weird thing tho.

in high school, guys were not interested in me.

Or if they were, they never told me. i think i was intimidating

but in college, no one knew the old me.

and, suddenly, GUYS

I somewhat dated this guy from work

he was an awesome guy, but it was a whirlwind relationship

suddenly beginning, suddenly ending.

Then, i went on a couple of dates with this guy who worked with one of my roommates

ha. it was the most cliche thing

he and i had almost nothing in common, but he was just SO good-looking that I had to date him

but once the looks spell wore off I was totes done

shallow? maybe

but i didnt keep dating him for his looks, did I?

presently, there is another guy, from work

(i guess thats the way to do it!)

Stay tuned (:

The best thing to come from my break-up?

When I was dating A, I felt like all of my spare time had to go to him.

so when I was suddenly single, I got to have friends again!

This semester I made the most amazing friends

I became better friends with my old ones

Landen

Megan

I made NEW friends!!

Spencer

Austin

Caitlyn 

Ellise

But, most importantly

I made friends with myself

I began exercising everyday

I started eating vegetables and fruits, and cut out most carbs and bad sugars

I allowed time for myself

I did better in school, and at church

I treated myself like I wanted other people to treat me

Losing my relationship with him allowed me to have a relationship with myself

I cant even explain it

One of my happiest moments from my first year of college was driving back to my house

I had just kissed my 2nd boy ever, and I was almost in tears I was so happy

Finally, I had done something solely because I wanted to

I didnt even like the guy that much, but I loved myself with all of my heart in that moment

I have learned so much about myself by being single

During my first year of college I learned:

* How our bodies work, or physiology 

* How to break up with someone

* How to put myself out there and make friends

* What its like to pay your own bills

* How to navigate the first stages of a relationship

* The importance of my parents

* How to deal with sexism and slut-shaming in my workplace 

* What I want in a relationship

* How to find a job

* That my body loves to exercise

* An incredible affection for vegetables

* How to love myself when I make mistakes

* How to let go of things

* What I dont want in a relationship

* How to accept my reality

* How to stay in touch with my friends

* The very beginning of how to be an adult 

In my very last conversation with A. he told me that he doesnt recognize me anymore

I was so glad

I am so different from when I first started college, and even from when we broke up

I have gotten a taste of freedom, and I have fallen in love with it. 

And, I have changed. For the better. 

Other Things

Cait, Ellise and I went to Vegas to celebrate the semester ending

p.s. LOOK HOW LONG MY HAIR IS

I moved out of Rich Hall

it was actually quite difficult saying goodbye to this place

it was a mixture of all the good memories, and knowing things wouldnt ever be the same again

I KEPT MY SCHOLARSHIP

comfy selfie because it took so much work to keep my G.P.A. where it needed to be to keep my scholarship

Im still so happy!

I moved into an apartment!

selfie from my new bed

my room is darling, but i have to say that living on my own is one of the weirdest feelings

its something ive waited for my entire life

and now its here, and I am responsible for all aspects of my life

Its just something I never thought would happen!

I absolutely love it though

So there it is

The transformation from one of the hardest times of my life to one of the best was not fun

It took a lot of self reflection, and a lot of asking

What did I do wrong?

But i think i have finally moved on 

and i was ready to blog again, so thats a good sign, right?!

Im sorry to keep you guys waiting for SEVEN MONTHS

I couldnt bring my heart to talk about what had happened

So hopefully i will be blogging more soon!

Stay tuned and 

Keep Calm and Carry On

:)