hi
today is something i dont do very much
post about my
FEELINGS
ick.
growing up with 3 brothers, having girly, cry-fest, feeling sessions never really happened.
in fact, i dont really like talking about them AT ALL
to anyone
they are such a private part of me, and i dont really want anyone to have them except for me
which is why i never post about anything except for whats happening in my life
but what is happening in my life right now is, simply, feelings
Ive been so busy the past, i dont know, 8 months, but today i had nothing to do except work on packing my room and bathroom
how strange to see my entire life packed up in boxes
it doesnt help that ive been doing it all alone (which i honestly dont mind)
adam is working, my family is running errands
so i am lost in myself and the hurricane inside me
all i can think about is leaving
how will i fit all of my stuff in my tiny dorm room?
how will i pay for anything?
how can i possibly leave all of the amazing people here?
i feel selfish
my heart is breaking
and i am SO excited to go to college, its always been a huge dream of mine, but i never even imagined how hard it would be to go
im putting every ounce of myself into boxes, every memory, every relationship
putting it all away and starting all over
quietly leaving
i really hope someone misses me
because i will miss everything here
now is the time to find strength inside me
this is for the better
this is good
i know this is what heavenly father wants me to do, i just didnt know it would be this difficult
send me your love
keep calm and carry on
:)
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